I have an issue I hope you fellows could give me some strong, truthful advise on.
I am a woman who enjoys going out with friends. The problem is once I start drinking , I become very..ummmm....promiscuous. I feel that it is all in fun. I'm single, attractive and just having fun. My friends, however, tell me that I am acting like a slut and they are embarrassed of me. Should I change to make my friends happy or should I continue to do what I enjoy doing? Thoughts?
Sincerely,
Just having fun
First off, I don't know how long this question has been lingering, I been busy with important shit in my life. You know, wife, kids, bills, a job, etc....Hell, you could have AIDS by now. Secondly, it's never the AIDS that gets you, it's usually the pneumonia.
To give you your desired "strong, truthful adviSe": Learn how to spell! These gottdamn computers have spell check. Of course you were probably drunk during your e-mailing escapades which also means you smelled like a cum dumpster.
Basically in a NUTshell, you are a drunk whore. Now, some may enjoy this type? But don't expect to be invited to Mama's house for chicken and dumplings on Sunday afternoon. Why? Because women can spot a dirty whore.
If it is to the point that your friends are saying things to you, then you should take heed. I know, I know, I'm just some mid-30's asshole who knows nothing about partying or having fun. Wrong! I've drank more alcohol in 2012 than you have swallowed a strangers DNA. And from the sounds of it that makes me raging alcoholic.
Yeah, while at the club or the bar or wherever dumb bitches with dumb questions go, there are guys who will buy you drinks and Teach You How to Dougie all night because they know that the promise of road noggin' is one bar tab away. But also know that before you can wash the stench of a strangers seed off of you they have told a friend who will in turn be buying you drinks and Cupid Shufflin' your panties off the next time.
Is it harmless? I don't know. Are you a skank bitch? Probably. Do you have gonnorrhea? Lil' Wayne says "yep"
My ADVICE, stay at home this weekend, relax and when you get lonely or feel the need to drink yourself into whorville..........GFY!
P.S. If you ever do, sucker some poor, testosterone lacking, idiot into marriage, don't be a drunk wife! You'll fuck his laundry and dinner up! GFY, again!
Editors Note: I purposely highlighted the first comment because that shit is a Public Service Announcement
After that haymaker from my man No T, I'm not sure there is a hell of a lot I can add to this discussion but I will try.
ReplyDeleteOne phrase comes to mind when I read your e mail; own your own bullshit. What does that mean? It means just that. You are a grown ass woman making grown ass decisions. These decisions and actions come with consequences. If, nay, when they bite you in the ass, own it. Nothing wrong with liking to ride the bone coaster. Sex is a natural and vital part of life. Be it self induced or with a partner(s). In times of drought I have been known to fire of a set of knuckle babies or twelve to keep the sanity. I'm sure gals are the same way. Hell I know they are.
But allowing yourself to get passed around the disco like a doobie will have its draw backs. Some of these are, in no certain order, being called a slut/whore by your fat friends that can't get laid. Being less stressed due to all the sexual release. Being more stressed and you watch your pee on the stick and pray for the (-) sign. Bumps on your vuh-jih-ner. Bumps in your belly. Burnin' when you pee. Odd phone calls from dudes what got your number at the truck stop or Jockey Lot. And the list goes on.
Bottom line is you worry about you. Let your friends worry about themselves. And I'll worry about me. And we all agree that no matter the outcome of our decisions/actions, we won't bother each other with the fucked up consequences that cum from it. See what I did there? I'm a funny fucker.
So to sum up, own your own bullshit and e mail me a picture of your knockers.
Love,
Dr. SKA
As far as me and my unit go...we would probably get along well with you. And because we respect your game, here's a little something to marinate on that might make you feel better about gettin' dee-runk and fuckin' everything that moves...I've never heard a dude call a chick a whore if he was currently fucking her (FACT). Call me.
ReplyDeleteWatch this Video first, its all about you.. then read my response.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/EkrJ-U7ja1c
Single girl aka hot mess aka whore:
Don't pretend gettting schmammered is when you get whorey. If you get drunk and bang out randoms you're just a slut who uses alcohol as an excuse. There are tons of ways to have fun if you're single, not every one of them involves dicks being in/around your mouth/vagina/anus. Buy a vibrator and get a hobby. Maybe that hobby could involve reading a book, because you couldn't even spell the word ADVICE.. completely fuckin retarded. Your friends are trying to help you out. I'm embarassed of you and I don't even know you. I'm trying to help you too, but I wouldn't be one of your friends though because I don't want to have to help you figure out where you're going to get your next abortion. In conclusion, you shouldn't change to make your friends happy. You should change because you don't want to get AIDS/SYPHOGONAHERPALEZE, but mostly AIDS. That being said, if what you are at your core is a skank, embrace it. To each their own, and the world apparently does need Mega-sluts. And you should probably call Thundercock before you go out Friday night. I think he's got hypnotic and sprite zero back at his place.