Monday, May 7, 2012

Dr. SKA is all a twitter these days.

Follow along here if you are so bored with your own life you wish to see what is happening in mine.

I am an Island...

It is becoming glaringly obvious I am alone in this venture.  No new post since March does not a blog make.

Have no fear...

I will take the reigns and get this horse back on track within the week.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Why I Dig Pregnant Chicks...

If you are a friend and a confidant of the good doctor then it is no secret that I have a thing for women who are in the motherly way.  To be blunt, they make my daddy parts tingle.  Now not all pregnant chicks fall into this category.  But for the most part a 7.5/10 vaginal support system will only increase in points on the boner meter after she becomes with child.  It's a fact.  "But Dr. SKA, what is it about walkin' baby ovens that turns you on?"  Glad you asked...

Here are my top 5 reasons why I dig pregnant chicks...

Number one:  Them Big Ass Titties.

I know.  I know.  I hit you with what you would assume would be the best feature, normally saved for last, right out of the gate.  And I did.  But lets face it.  If given the choice we would all rather eat dessert first.  What happens to a woman's boobies during that baby baking period is nothing short of spectacular.  Sure, non lactating mammaries are fun too.  But when form turns to function these things take on a totally different perspective.  Which would you rather ride?  This...

Or this sumbitch right here...

That's what I thought.  Not even a contest.  Oh don't get me wrong.  A ride is a ride.  But a choice is even better.

I could stop here.  But I won't.  Hey Selma!  Whassup Gurl?!  Mercy.

Number Two:  Pregnant chicks put out.  Period.  Dot.  End of story.  How do I know?  Hey.  They're pregnant.  Which means Ah-Toe-Maticly they are DTF.  Winner?  Damn right.

Number Three:  Second trimester increase in libido.  It really is like trying to pull a tooth on a tiger.  I can remember when the former Mrs. Stud Kick Ass was with child.  By they time we got to the delivery day Mr. Johnson had a callous on him.  No good pictures to back up this claim so here's another picture of a hot pregnant chick...

Number Four:  You cannot knock a pregnant chick up.  If I have to explain the merits of this to you then you need to go slam your head in a car door.

And Number Five:  You get to hit it from the back.  A lot.

Lets face it.  This is just physics here.  That belly will only allow you to do so much so you gotta flip 'em over.  This is a good thing on several levels.  Most importantly; you get to hit if from the back.  Them big ol' pregnant butts up in the air are a sight to behold.  But also it allows both of you to continue to watch t.v. without missing anything important.  Gives you a place to rest your beer and sandwich too.  Win win really.

So there you have it.  I hope this answers any questions you may have about why knocked up gals are hot.  Only problem is most of 'em are married and them that ain't really aren't lookin' for relationships.  Be they permanent or temporary.  So taking down one of these trophies is like bagging a Unicorn.  I'll leave you with one final thing.  A video of a with child asian chick banging out pull ups 8 months in.  I have made more knuckle babies to this video than a beach has sand.  Enjoy...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I have an issue I hope you fellows could give me some strong, truthful advise on. 

I am a woman who enjoys going out with friends.  The problem is once I start drinking , I become very..ummmm....promiscuous.  I feel that it is all in fun.  I'm single, attractive and just having fun.  My friends, however, tell me that I am acting like a slut and they are embarrassed of me.  Should I change to make my friends happy or should I continue to do what I enjoy doing? Thoughts?

Just having fun

First off, I don't know how long this question has been lingering, I been busy with important shit in my life. You know, wife, kids, bills, a job, etc....Hell, you could have AIDS by now. Secondly, it's never the AIDS that gets you, it's usually the pneumonia. 

To give you your desired "strong, truthful adviSe": Learn how to spell!  These gottdamn computers have spell check.  Of course you were probably drunk during your e-mailing escapades which also means you smelled like a cum dumpster. 

Basically in a NUTshell, you are a drunk whore.  Now, some may enjoy this type? But don't expect to be invited to Mama's house for chicken and dumplings on Sunday afternoon.  Why? Because women can spot a dirty whore. 

If it is to the point that your friends are saying things to you, then you should take heed.  I know, I know, I'm just some mid-30's asshole who knows nothing about partying or having fun.  Wrong! I've drank more alcohol in 2012 than you have swallowed a strangers DNA.  And from the sounds of it that makes me raging alcoholic. 

Yeah, while at the club or the bar or wherever dumb bitches with dumb questions go, there are guys who will buy you drinks and Teach You How to Dougie all night because they know that the promise of road noggin' is one bar tab away.  But also know that before you can wash the stench of a strangers seed off of you they have told a friend who will in turn be buying you drinks and Cupid Shufflin' your panties off the next time. 

Is it harmless? I don't know.  Are you a skank bitch?  Probably.  Do you have gonnorrhea? Lil' Wayne says "yep"

My ADVICE, stay at home this weekend, relax and when you get lonely or feel the need to drink yourself into whorville..........GFY!

P.S. If you ever do, sucker some poor, testosterone lacking, idiot into marriage, don't be a drunk wife! You'll fuck his laundry and dinner up!            GFY, again!

Editors Note: I purposely highlighted the first comment because that shit is a Public Service Announcement

Monday, March 12, 2012

Are You a Terrorist?

"Of course not" you say.  Really?  Might want to think again.

Recently our beloved Attorney General, Eric Holder, justified the killing of U.S. citizens, he deemed to be a threat to the U.S., without due process.  You can read about it here.  In that article this shit stick Holder is defending the killing of American-born al-Qaida operative Anwar al-Awlaki five months ago in Yemen.  "BFD" you may say.  Any dead terrorist is a good terrorist and one less rock throwing, wiping his ass with his hand baby killer can't be bad.  Agreed.  This Anwar fucker was a genuine douche bag of the highest order and the world is better off without him in it.  Right now I really hope Hitler is fucking him in the ass with a pineapple.

But here is the bigger picture.  This cat was an American.  Period.  And as an American he is/was entitled to due process.  Instead he received a missile gram from Mongo.  Again, "so the fuck what" you say?  I'll tell yo so the fuck what.  The devil is always in the details and here the details the devil is playing in lie in the definition of a "terrorist" and who the fuck gets to decide what and who that is.  ESPECIALLY when we are talking about U.S. Citizens.

"Few things are as dangerous to American liberty as the proposition that the government should be able to kill citizens anywhere in the world on the basis of legal standards and evidence that are never submitted to a court, either before or after the fact," Shamsi said. "Anyone willing to trust President Obama with the power to secretly declare an American citizen an enemy of the state and order his extrajudicial killing should ask whether they would be willing to trust the next president with that dangerous power."
 See where this can get tricky?  "But DrSKA, he's only talking about the REALLY bad dudes what do bad things over there.  Right?"  Is he?  Let's ask FBI director Robert Mueller what he thinks about it.

Pressed by House lawmakers about a recent speech in which Holder described the legal justification for assassination, Mueller, who was attending a hearing on his agency's budget, did not say without qualification that the three criteria could not be applied inside the U.S.  "I have to go back. Uh, I'm not certain whether that was addressed or not," Mueller said when asked by Rep. Tom Graves, R-Ga., about a distinction between domestic and foreign targeting

Da FUCK!?  Not sure?  Might want to look into that Mr. Mueller.  "Yeah, but 'they' are only talking bout the the REALLY bad people inside the U.S.  Not just regular folks like you and me.  Right?"  Yeah.  You just keep thinking that.  Seems that the Department of Homeland Security, led by the HDIC (Head Dyke in Charge) Janet Napolitano, has been real busy making list and shit of who all should be watched and labeled as "domestic extremist".

They cover: Jewish extremists, animal rights extremists, Christian identity extremists, black separatism extremists, anti-abortion extremists, anti-immigration extremists, anti-technology extremists, Cuban independence extremists and tax resistance extremists, to name a few.

"According to the document, for example, tax resistance extremists are people who "vehemently believe taxes violate their constitutional rights ... Members (of this group) have been known to advocate or engage in criminal activity and plot acts of violence and terrorism in an attempt to advance their extremist goals."
The top of the document also defines "alternative media" as something sinister -- though the term is commonly used to describe blogs and popular publications like New York's Village Voice.
"Alternative media" is "a term used to describe various information sources that provide a forum for interpretations of events and issues that differ radically from those presented in mass media products and outlets," the report says."

So does everybody see where we're going with this shit?  Now we are saying that people who are proponents of tax reform and use the internet are "extremist" and "terrorist" and according to "they" it is okay for the government to just fucking kill you to death because of it.  These people are going as far as saying our returning veterans are ripe for terrorist recruitment.  SERIOUSLY!  Read the damn article!  Google it fuckers!

"Aw, c'mon now Dr. SKA.  You're just being paranoid.  That would never happen here."  Really D-bags?  REALLY?

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller

He never thought it would happen to him either.  Hitler that bitches.

And don't for a minute think that it is just the feds you have to worry about either.  Seems DHS is spreading the love around to the local level as well.

In the 62 cases reviewed, the subjects increasingly spoke out against the government, blamed the government for perceived problems and did so in a way that caught the attention of other people in their communities, according to the senior counterterrorism official who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss the private White House event. Subjects became active on the Internet to espouse extremist views. And in some cases, the subjects purchased weapons, ammunition or explosive materials.
My my but don't we paint with a big ol' broad brush.  So take heed my friends.  Think this shit doesn't apply to you?  Better think again.  Remember.  A thousand people let ten Nazi guards march them into the "showers" because they didn't think it applied to them either.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Dear Women (Part 2)

I was asked to add an adendum or two to my previous post by some readers so here goes.

#1)  Don't do anything prior to getting hitched you aren't willing to continue after getting hitched.  That includes laundry, cooking, cleaning and blow jobs.  Men, this shit goes for you too.  Don't be all romantic and shit while you are dating then turn into Dick the Wonder Asshole after you have the poon locked down.

#2)  And to the dudes again.  I know what it is like to get a woman's cummer button stuck and then have 'em where you want 'em.  Doesn't give you permission to be a douche bag just because you took her places she's never been.  Be a man but be nice.  She will eventually realize she can get her own button stuck or show some other dude how to do it and you'll be back to bangin' Rosey and her 5 sisters.


All of ya.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Dear Women...

I know it is too much to ask of you to not be totally batshit crazy.  But can you all at least try to tone it down just a grunt?

And while I am asking for impossible favors let me go for the golden ring and ask for one that will not only make our lives as men better but will also alleviate a shit ton of stress in your own lives.  Ready?

Take us for who we are.  Period.  Dot.  End of discussion.  If you meet someone and say "Hey!  This dude stimulates me visually, makes my loins quiver and is an all around good dude." then that should be it.  We, as men, are not raw material for you to build the "perfect" man.  We are who we are and no matter how much you bitch we ain't changing.

If we like to drink beer and watch football when you met us then we will continue to drink beer and like football.  If we like to hunt and fish when you met us then guess what?  We will continue to like to hunt and fish afterward.  Contrary to popular belief we aren't all sitting around waiting on you to rescue us from our boring and depressing lives filled with doing whatever we want whenever we want with whoever we want.  Shocker I know.

"Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful princess, Will you
marry me? The Princess said, NO!
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles
and fucked skinny big titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to nudie
bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain
Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony
and ate pussies and fucked cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and
never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family
thought he was fuckin cool as hell and had tons of money in the bank and
left the toilet seat up ….. The end"

So do yourself and us a favor.  Relax.  Unclench.  If the dude you are with doesn't cut your idea of the mustard then do yourself and him a favor and get the fuck out.  It will save you both a shit load of heartache and hassle.  But my real advice is to stop guaging your man and your relationship by the lies your "girlfriends" are telling you about how "perfect" their man is and how fucked up yours is because he doesn't want to spend his Saturday during football/hunting season holding your purse at the fuckin' TJ Maxx instead of pounding beers, killing critter and watching football.  Those gals are full of shit and have metrosexual pussies for boyfriends who probably spend more on gel and Axe body spray than they do on bullets and beef jerky (run on sentence THAT fuckers).  Do you really want to date and/or be married to that faggot?  Didn't think so.

And in parting, you men don't think you are totally without fault here.  You have to shut this "change" shit down from the get go.  If you let it get out of control and start giving in then you have no one to blame but yourself.

Now go away and FOALMA!